Rajnikant Funny Jokes
Rajnikant has
a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can’t be cured and his
death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajnikant is shot in
the head. To everybody’s surprise, the bullet passes through his ears
taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live
Rajnikant!In another movie, Rajnikant is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajnikant has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. He throws the knife at the middle gangster & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.
Rajnikant is chased by a gangster. Rajnikant has a revolver but no bullets in it. Rajnikant waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Rajnikant opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang… the gangster dies…
Rajnikant gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. Rajnikant has to desperately kill the villain because it’s the climax. Rajnikant suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.
Everytime you see Internal Server Errors on PP, it’s Rajnikant trying to join PP. PP shuts itself down in fear.
Rajnikant can make calls from his iPod to his iPad…!!!
When GOD is shocked he exclaims “Oh my Rajnikaant!”?
Great mystery solved : the missing piece of apple in Apple’s Logo was eaten by Rajnikant!!
Rajnikanths nxt project. Titanic in Tamil. Climax revised. Both survive. Rajnikant swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and… Titanic in the other.
Superman once got into a fight with Rajnikanth. The loser had to wear his underwear over his pants.
Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Rajini doesn’t need water supply. Hydrogen and Oxygen merge at the sight of him and produce water whenever he wants.
If Rajnikant ever got caught for speeding, he’d let the cops off with a warning.
Rajnikant can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together
In the back of the book of world records, it says “All records are held by Rajnikant. The ones listed are in second place.
In an wild argument, rajnikant showd a middle finger to his GF…n she gt pregnant !!!
Rajnikanth added facebook as his friend.
The Punjabi singer Pooja was at one time married but then Rajnikanth started to have a crush on her… and now she’s Miss Pooja.
The movie Krrish is loosely based on Rajnikanth’s life.
Once Rajnikant participated in Bike race. Don’t even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won d race on Neutral gear. Mind it anna.
Rajnikanth once threw a coin in disgust at a black beggar, the beggar is now known as 50 Cent
Newton gave us just the three dumb laws of motion. Rajinikanth has already given us 33,945 laws of commotion and the count is far from completed.
Rajinikanth is a vegetarian. Meaning, he does not eat animals until first he puts them into vegetative state with his fists.
Once Rajnikanth was on Hot Seat of KBC and Computer needed Lifeline to Choose the question.
There used to be a street named after Rajnikanth, but it was changed because nobody crosses Rajnikanth and lives.
Rajnikanth can whistle in five different languages, including sign language
Once, Rajnikanth told Nike to ‘just do it…’ and it did.
If 12/21/2012 is the end of the world, it means that Rajnikanth got bored with humanity
Rajnikanth puts his pants on two legs at a time
i have got so many rajnikanth jokes on my mobile phone……..dat i dont require a charger now:)
If ever you want to pinch Rajnikant,The best thing you can do is launch a missile at him.
Rajni in Tamil remake of Aamir’s Ghulam. Rajni runs on railway track, the train is now at a distance of 1 mtr. Now what? Obviously… The train jumps off the track.
Once Rajnikant participated in 100 meter running race. Don’t even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won the race. Seeing this Einstein committed suicide . do U know why. Coz light came third, but who came 2nd Rajnikant’s shadow.
Gf: Mera koi picha karte rehta hai…
Rajni: ok..
Nxt day…
Gf: Hey… where the hell is My Shadow????World cup 2015 Grouping:
Group A: AUS,PAK,SL,NZ,ZIM,CANADA,KENYA,IND,SA,ENG,WI
BAN,IRL and NETHERLAND
Group B: RAJNIKANTH. -
Rajnikanth got inspired by Superman , Batman and Hanuman and wanted to beat them all in a single shot so he wore underwear over lungi , grew a tail to his back and wore a bedsheet behind him.
Rajanikanth is the only person to have got nobel prize in acting.
Rajnikanth, it seems is a verb and not a noun. Its the continuous process happening inside and around us.
Rajnikanth swaps his visitng cards at ATMs to get cash
Once rajni sent an sms to Einstein . It read – E=MC2
Corporate Slogans as they should be:
Impossible is Rajnikanth – Adidas
The car in front is Rajnis – Toyota.
Rajnikanth at Work – General Electric (GE)
I am Rajnikanth! What? Rajnikanth I am – Reebok
Connecting Rajnikanth – Nokia
Hello Rajnikanth – Motorola
Express Rajnikanth – Airtel Cellular Service India
A Rajnikanth can change your life – Idea Cellular India
Do you… rajnikanth!? – Yahoo
High Performance, Delivered – Accenture for Rajnikanth
Rajnikant is lovin’ it! – Macdonald’s new tagline
Intel’s new caption – Rajnikant Inside.
One night at 2AM in the morning Rajni gets a phone call saying, “Congratulation Rajnikant you have won the Noble Peace prize and an all expence paid trip to Bangkok.” Rajni puts the phone down, Mrs Rajnikant asks who was it. Rajni replies. “Some bloody telemarketing guy”
By the time Grahambell invented telephone, he had 2missed calls from Rajnikanth.
Aishwairya rai to rajnikant: ek chutki sindhoor ki kimat tum kya jaano rajni babu???
Rajnikant: 0.000000078650000123478956 grams -
Anhoni ko honi karde
honi ko anhoni,
ek jagah jab Jama ho teeno
RAJNI , GAJANI aur DHONI.
Congrets team India for winning the cricket world cup.
Once Rajnikant participated in 100m race, obviously he came 1st. But Einstein died after noticing that Light came 2nd..!!
Q: What did John Logie Baird found when he invented television?
Ans: There is Rajni’s movie already telecasting!
To be or not to be? That is the question. The answer? Rajinikanth.
If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
General facts about Rajnikant
Rajnikant has counted to infinity-twice.
Where there is a will, there’s a way. Where there is Rajnikant, there is no other way!!
Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
There is no such thing as evolution, it’s just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
Rajinikanth can win at Solitaire with only 18 cards.
Rajinikanth doesn’t breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
Rajinikanth doesn’t move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
Rajinikanth can answer a missed call.
Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
once all news reporters asked rajnikanth”how do you feel that people are making jokes on you” so rajni replied the are not jokes
I urge all my friends to stop making jokes on Rajinikaant… Else he’ll delete the internet..!!!:(
Rajnikanth’s postal address:
3, Earth,
Solar System, Universe.
Once Rajnikant fill the exam paper and than he forget rough page, it page is called WIKIPEDIA..
Before Tom Cruise… “Mission Impossible” was offered to Rajni…but he rejected it…because he found the title of movie very offensive..!! :)
Once Rajnikaant signed a cheque… and the Bank bounced!!!
Basketball player: I can spin a ball on my finger for 2 hrs… can u..?? Rajnikanth: enna rascala… How do u think the earth spins…?? :) mind it!
Rajnikanth once entered a race he came first, second and third.
Once Rajnikant mumbled some numbers in his sleep. Those numbers are today collectively known as the “LOG TABLE.”
The oceans are filled with tears of Rajnikanths victims.
An email was sent from Pune to Mumbai … Rajnikant stopped it in Lonawala.
Once Rajnikant participated in Bike race. Don’t even try 2 guess wat happened. Rajnikant won d race on Neutral gear. Mind it anna..
Once Rajnikant lost his Wallet. Since then The World is Facing Recession
The movie ‘300′ was initially planned to be made with Rajinikanth. It was originally named ‘1′.
Once Rajni was having sex in a Fiat . A sperm escaped and entered the engine of the car …that car is now called Ferrari
Once Bill Gates went to Rajnikant. For what? To ask for DVD of Windows 8.
No one can wish a happy birthday to Rajjnikanth cause he was here before time existed
Rajnikant got admission in medical profession. And gave viva exam. In the end he asked the examiner to come back after preparation.
Rajnikant’s daughter lost her virginity. Rajnikant found it and gave it back to her !!!
Graham Bell ne lamppost ke neeche padhai ki.. Rabindranath Tagore ne laalten mein padhai
ki. Einstein ne doosre logo ki khidki se aati thodi si roshni mein padhai ki. Aur Rajnikanth ne Agarbatti mein
Once Rajnikant participated in 100 meter running race. Don’t even try 2 guess wat happened.
Rajnikant won the race. Seeing this Einstein committed suicide . do U know why. Coz light came third, but who came 2nd Rajnikant’s shadow.
One day Rajnikanth bunked school, now its known as Sunday.
Rajnikant’s email id is gmail@rajnikant.com
Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, he decides what time it is!!
Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills, they just made him blink.
When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on ….he turns the dark off.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.
Rajinikanth goes to court and sentences the judge.
Rajinikant proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
When Rajinikanth plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
Once rajnikanth went behind a house and shagged. and now it is known as white house
When Rajnikanth was a kid, he once in frustration throwed a stone towards the sky…..today the NASA discovered the new planet KEPLER 22B with earth like atmosphere…..
New object oriented language—rajnikant oriented language ..this is procedural ,object oriented.structured,model oriented language
There is nothing like loadshading,it’s time when rajni is charging his mobile
once rajni was flying over Switzerland and his wallet fell down today the place is called….. Swiss bank :)
What happened when Rajini participated in a triple jump competition?
He became the first person to set foot on Mars, Jupiter and Saturn.
What happens when Rajini boards a town bus?
The conductor and driver buy tickets from him
Rajini originated a rumour.
Parliament passed it as law!
When Rajini went to school they did not have a school bell.
Classes got over whenever Rajini said “Dot”
What happened the only time Rajini got frustrated?
He kicked a rock and the Earth got itself a Moon
Why did the tropical cyclone change direction and dissipate at the last minute?
Because when it duly asked Rajini’s permission, he said “no”
What happened when Rajini’s mother went to hospital for childbirth?
The doctor had a miscarriage
What happened when Rajini forgot his sunglasses?
The Sun lost its ozone layer.
Who was the unluckiest person in the last 200 years?
Alfred NOBEL….he missed out on RAJINI prize
What can you expect when Rajini goes surfing in the ocean…..
A Tsunami
What happens when Rajini goes surfing the net?
Unable to handle 1zettabyte per second, the web crashes
When they went online for the first time…facebook and twitter joined Rajini
Rajini went swimming one day in the river.
The river drowned and the body was never found
Rajini takes a deep breath and exhales slowly. The intervening period is known as Ice Age
Rajini once played the hula hoop
The momentum helped planets go round the Sun
Rajini reported loss of his cell phone…
NASA duly sent a probe to Neptune
Govt of India pays tax to Rajinikanth for living here
Adam and Eve are children of Rajinikanth
Police dept is bored because of 0 crime in the city where rajini lives
People update status from BlackBerry, iPhone, iPad, etc. Rajinikant updates
his facebook status with a calculator !!
Ek bar Rajinikanth ne ek aadmi ko "Go to Hell" kaha...
That person is now known as Yamraj !!
Rajinikanth can cure cancer with his first aid box
Ram and Ravan were in a serious fight..
In the middle of the fight Ravan suddenly stopped after he saw someone standing
behind Ram
Ravan : Acha chal bye..
Ram : Arey kya hua?
Ravan : Kuch nai ..bas bye
Ram : Arey lekin hua kya??
Ravan : Itni si baat ke liye Rajinikanth ko kyun bulaya yaar? :-)
Michael Jackson's moon walk is no match for Rajinikanth's Sun Walk...
Rajinikanth can make his wife admit her mistakes
Rajinikanth doesn't enjoy animation movies because he can see the gaps between the 24 frames every second
Rajnikanth was practicing for a spelling test..the rough sheet he used is known as oxford dictionary..
Once spiderman,superman and batman visited rajnikant's house together.. it was teachers day!
Rajini awards goes to Oscar
Rajini was born on 30th Feb, since then that date was removed from calendar so that noone else gets the same birthday.
Rajnikanth can send an SMS from a Landline phone.
Rajnikanth can write into a READ ONLY file.
Rajnikant once wrote his autobiography. Today that book is known as Guiness book of world records and his childhood homework is now called Wikipedia.
Rajnikant first takes the gold medal and then starts the race
